Yeah! I finally bought a lap top. A Mac Book and I love it.
Coming soon:
Video footage of the street in front of my house set to "Highway to Hell" by ACDC
Andy Warhol-esque photographs of the hair on my big toe
Mock newspapers featuring the headlines "Bush buys brains" and "Lazy-eyed 23-year-old female on tour promoting first novel"
Ohh, imagine the possibilities.
The other night I was watching one of the classiest movies of the 20th century, "The Muppets Take Manhattan" while my roommate’s girlfriend’s two-year-old child prodigy pranced around the living room with her "b" (a.k.a. blanket) and baby doll. Soon little Olivia’s spirit wore thin as sleepy eyes took over her round face and the clock approached 10. In her torment she left her baby doll in the living room with me. Flash forward to thirty or so minutes later and there I am asleep on my couch clutching a plastic baby doll as the friggin’ Muppets flash on the screen. How old am I?
"3 more worlds set to join 9 planets" from the Arizona Republic
WASHINGTON - Sorry, kids. It looks like you’ll no longer have to memorize the names of just nine planets. Apparently, there are now going to be 12.
A committee of the International Astronomical Union, which decides on such matters, voted unanimously Tuesday to add three worlds to our solar system’s planetary population. More planets will be added later, astronomers said.
Little Pluto, which had been in peril of losing its place among the planets, keeps its status, but only in a new category of "plutons," distant oddballs wandering outside Neptune in weirdly shaped orbits.
The IAU committee recognized two other plutons: Pluto’s smaller companion, Charon, and Xena, an icy body bigger than Pluto that was discovered in 2003.
In addition, Ceres, the biggest asteroid between Mars and Jupiter, will regain the planetary status it enjoyed in the 19th century.
Thus the new roll call of planets, starting closest to the sun, would be: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Ceres, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Charon and Xena. (Xena is officially known as UB313 until the IAU gets around to formally naming it.)
My Very Evil Mother Certainly Just Served Us Nine Pints of Corona and Xanax?
Instead of flipping a quarter and then flipping off my roommates, I opted to take the small room under the following conditions:
1. I pay less rent.
2. I don’t have any utilities in my name.
3. I get to decorate the living room and kitchen.
We’re moving in starting today and I must say I’m stressed out and saddened by the whole experience. The hope is to have the new place in working order by Sunday for Tim’s Going Away Bash. Wear your favorite polyester tennis shirt and prepare for the body hair competition.